Dear Mama,
Hope you're doing well and watching over me every day! The last ten days of May are here. And the flashbacks have begun. My emotions are all over the place. But how do I explain this to the world? Not that I need to but you know..
Nine years ago, around this time, we joined you in Abu Dhabi.. To be exact, on the 15th of May.. You had been admitted to the hospital and naive as I unfortunately was, I didn't realize that that would be the last place you would get to see in your lifetime; didn't realize that that would be the last state we would see you in..
These flashbacks that I have been carrying with me for nine years.. are my biggest nightmare.. but they are also my prized possession.. They make me feel closer to you all of a sudden.. As if I am in that room again.. As if I can feel you fighting for life.. I get goosebumps every time I picture you in that hospital bed..
No matter how much time has passed, your precious daughter still breaks down in front of Allah and wishes for Him to turn back time.. wishes to undo that whole period of her life.. and wishes to see you happy and healthy one more time...
Regret.. A word, a feeling that people tell us to let go.. They tell you to move on and find solace in the present.. But regret.. Regret of all that I could have said, all that I could have done.. All that i could have unsaid and all that I could have undone.. I wish I had been a better daughter.. A better person...
Nine years Mama.. The pain has not lessened.. There are still ten days to go.. But I wanted to let you know.. you're on my mind more than ever.. You're always at the back of mind, you're always in my heart, you're the reason behind my every move.. You're my motivation, you're my strength.. But this time of the year.. I just need you more than ever..
Dear Allah, please keep my mama healthy and happy, this is my dua, today and always!
Hope you're doing well and watching over me every day! The last ten days of May are here. And the flashbacks have begun. My emotions are all over the place. But how do I explain this to the world? Not that I need to but you know..
Nine years ago, around this time, we joined you in Abu Dhabi.. To be exact, on the 15th of May.. You had been admitted to the hospital and naive as I unfortunately was, I didn't realize that that would be the last place you would get to see in your lifetime; didn't realize that that would be the last state we would see you in..
These flashbacks that I have been carrying with me for nine years.. are my biggest nightmare.. but they are also my prized possession.. They make me feel closer to you all of a sudden.. As if I am in that room again.. As if I can feel you fighting for life.. I get goosebumps every time I picture you in that hospital bed..
No matter how much time has passed, your precious daughter still breaks down in front of Allah and wishes for Him to turn back time.. wishes to undo that whole period of her life.. and wishes to see you happy and healthy one more time...
Regret.. A word, a feeling that people tell us to let go.. They tell you to move on and find solace in the present.. But regret.. Regret of all that I could have said, all that I could have done.. All that i could have unsaid and all that I could have undone.. I wish I had been a better daughter.. A better person...
Nine years Mama.. The pain has not lessened.. There are still ten days to go.. But I wanted to let you know.. you're on my mind more than ever.. You're always at the back of mind, you're always in my heart, you're the reason behind my every move.. You're my motivation, you're my strength.. But this time of the year.. I just need you more than ever..
Dear Allah, please keep my mama healthy and happy, this is my dua, today and always!
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.
[Al Isra:23-24]
Keep sending me some positive vibes and love from Jannat Mama! I love and miss you immensely!
Trying to make you proud always,
Love, M!
